Too Low on Energy
3-4 nights this week, I have had night terrors. I haven’t had them for at least a few months because I have worked hard at looking after myself and tried my out-most to avoid stressful situations. I had to deal with a stressful personal matter, and then, they came back. My dreams contained scary nonsense – it was almost as if my brain tried to do it’s best at scaring me, showing a collection of short films. My very own Horror Film Festival. The only type of dream that still frightens me is when I dream I am sleeping in my normal real life environment and then it gets distorted. This time I had big, fat and slimey black slugs creeping on top of my duvet. It was revolting. I really hate big, fat slugs. They leave a nasty trail and smell horrible. The reason I know this, is because when I was ten, me and a friend decided to go on a slug hunt to save an aunt’s garden from a red slug invasion. We collected a whole bucket. The slugs reeked and were super-slimey. Talk about childhood trauma. We decided to take the slugs out to the woods and promptly went about the task. First, we dug a hole and then we dumped all the slugs in it. Then we ran away hoping never ever to see another disgusting slug ever again. So, I am not surprised that they have decided to come back to attend the Horror festival.
The nightmares were stressful and the quality of my sleep got really bad. I started getting overly tired during the day (it was as if the medications didn’t work), panic attack (wrote about earlier in the week) and my bones/legs &arms were so tired and sore, I decided to rest from the gym for a few days. There is no point in going if you don’t have the energy to work-out. It also affected my moods. I got into a real low and had difficulty motivating myself to do things. Now, I know, this is not normal. Only a few years ago I would think ‘What’s wrong with me’? Why can’t I do all the things my friends seem capable of doing? Now, I can separate the tiredness from me, and I have realised that ‘there’s nothing wrong with me’ because I am optimistic highly capable person when I am not sleep-deprived. (when was the last time that happened? 1987? 😉