This week my therapist started to challenge me. After the session I felt embarrassed like what I had talked about was embarrassing and not politically correct. Then I thought, but this is the whole reason why I am going to speak to someone who doesn’t know me or my friends etc. I said that Food allergy and food intolerance were two different things. he disagreed and said they were the same. Then he asked if I was a feminist – I replied – no a humanist. I said that feminism never really happened because feminism is about equality and respecting sexes differences. Then I spoke about the Atos medical form and how difficult it was going to be to go through it again, and he suggested that I made that happen and that it does need to be difficult at all. I know that is wrong. Then he asked me imagine what your life would have been if you did not have narcolepsy. I started to cry then I got angry because I have already lived without knowing I had narcolepsy for 16 years and it was confusing, draining and extremely challenging. Why did he do that? Did he imagine that I had imagined it all? I can see his point though but it is not quite that simple. He is obviously trying to recreate my expressed difficulties. It is pretty much all about how difficult I find it to always have to explain living with narcolepsy and dealing with others opinions and reactions. Especially the ones who don’t believe you, and there are plenty of those types.
My first instinct was to get proof from a dietician that explains the differences between food allergies and intolerance. I have done similar in the past but it never changes a person’s opinion really mostly people disregard it to keep their ego intact. Why does it matter? It is really not that important.
I have had several really useful dreams following this weeks session. I always use my dreams for personal development work – don’t really write them down. There would be too many, a whole library of dreams, the important ones I remember.
Feelings of not being taken seriously, feelings of being misunderstood by my surroundings, my friends, family, work colleagues (when I tried to work) and professionals. Why do I care what other people think? I know the truth.